Me and the Guy No One Knows About: Why Yellow Stayed.

Honestly, I think one of the most beautiful things about being a human is that out of billions of people living in an endlessly expanding universe, we somehow meet certain souls that permanently alter the chemistry of our inner world.

And most of the time, there’s no logical explanation for why it happens with them specifically.

Human beings are strange like that.

We are biologically wired to survive, adapt, seek safety, avoid abandonment, search for connection, and remember emotional impact. Our brains are constantly collecting experiences and attaching meaning to them.

Maybe that’s why certain people stay in our minds long after they leave our lives.

Not because we are weak.

Not because we are incapable of moving on.

But because the nervous system remembers what felt emotionally significant.

And sometimes, emotional significance is not even about intensity.

Sometimes it is simply about peace.

I think I understand that now.

For a very long time, I thought love had to feel overwhelming to be real.

I confused unpredictability with passion.

Longing with depth.

Emotional chaos with connection.

Maybe because the human brain remembers inconsistency more intensely than stability.

When affection becomes uncertain, the mind starts attaching more value to it. We begin chasing emotional reassurance without even realising it.

And maybe that’s why I spent years running behind the purple heart…without noticing that the yellow heart was always the one making me feel safe.

The difference only makes sense to me now.

The purple heart consumed my mind.

But the yellow heart softened my existence.

And honestly, I think most human beings are not searching for dramatic love stories the way they think they are.

I think we are all secretly searching for emotional safety.

Someone whose presence allows the body to unclench a little.

Someone around whom silence feels natural instead of uncomfortable or anxious.

Someone who makes existence feel slightly less heavy.

Maybe that is why some people remain special to us even after years, distance, silence, and change.

Not every connection survives in practical life.

Some exist only as emotional imprints.

And I don’t think that is tragic anymore.

I think that is simply part of being human.

Three years have passed since we lost that closeness.

We met again after that.

We got intimate again.

We had a fallout again.

Life kept moving.

And strangely, I no longer feel the need to romanticise any of it.

But after all these years, I realised something very simple:

I still love you.

Not in a desperate way.

Not in a way that asks for a future.

Not in a way that needs reciprocation.

It exists more like quiet gratitude now.

Like my mind and body remembering a person who once made me feel emotionally safe and loved.

And maybe that is why the feeling still remains peacefully inside me.

You used to say the brain confuses us. I think you were right.

But maybe confusion is also part of the human experience.

We are emotional creatures trying to behave logically while carrying memories, attachment, loneliness, fear, hope, and entire inner worlds inside us.

Of course we confuse love, attachment, comfort, longing, familiarity, and healing sometimes.

How could we not?

Still, after everything, I think there is something beautiful about having felt deeply for another human being at all.

Even if they do not stay forever.

Even if life moves differently for both people.

Some souls simply leave permanent fingerprints on the mind.

And maybe love, in its purest form, is just that,

A quiet transformation in the way we experience existence after meeting someone.

So yes…

After all these years,

the yellow heart still feels like peace to me.💛